Testing out the baby Carrier

The cat is spoiled rotten. I am definitely the favorite b/c I feed him, keep the litter box clean and pet him gently.
He was helpful today when I needed to check out our new baby carrier- (THANKS, Molinari family!)

Many Thanks!

Thank you to all of those who are celebrating our "joy" and happiness with the news of our referral.
Thanks to the Puca Family for sending beautiful flowers.


Thanks to all of those people who are sending in quilt squares.

Thanks to Deanne and Darcy for patience as I waffle around shower or not.

Thanks to Michelle for making the quilt- I truly appreciate your skill and effort in creating it.

Lastly, thank you to Ch*Na for sharing one of your children with us- we feel privileged!

Waiting for TA

Just thought I would update people that right now we are waiting for our TA- Travel Approval. It is harder now that we have her darling face to dream at and now have her here.
I checked again with our agency to ask about an update. They did make the request on Sept 19, so it is hard to believe it is only a month. We would really love some information on her now- our data is from when she was 3 months old.

Hopefully I will have more to post soon.

The road for us

I am between two roads. One road will take us into the final adoption process with a daughter that we have been waiting for over 3 years for and love her tremendously. This road brings the emotional roller coaster of parenting that does not compare to any other life situation. I am scared, excited, full of hope, lots of faith and willing to give up any self interests for her adjustment and well being. We will be trusted with giving her a family and helping her feel loved.

The second road is one I have just accepted as a choice. It will be the road of moving on to more independence, letting go of the little boys as they adjust into adulthood. It will be giving up the hope for adoption of one that would need me. I shall bemore grateful for what I have and content on the way fate has lead me on this road. I will be more aggressive in my work and seek more opportunities.

So here I am. I have been here a while but finally able to understand where I am, how I got here, the emotions tied to this and the positives of each road. I am trusting my faith that my road will be clear within 2 months. We will not renew paperwork or continue to wait for a daughter. There are so many others in line behind us that if we are unable to be matched then it wasn't our fate. If we do get matched with in 2 months then I will trust that this was our destiny.
It is difficult to put a deadline to this process, but as a family we need to.

We will see

Just looking at the time since our LID. 3 years 11 months and one week. I wish I could say it has gone by fast...like how my oldest son is in 8th grade soon to be in HS. My youngest is in his last year of elementary school. Yes, that was fast. I am blessed to see them growing up and making more memories with them. The wait for this adoption, not much to show except receipts and paperwork.
We made the decision this month to put our name on the Waiting Child list. For those of you who don't know what this is, it is a list that comes out once a month from Ch*na of children with special needs. Maybe the right child is on there for our family, we will see. All we can do is wait....

Just stopping in...

I counted it out from RQ's latest projections from the lowest and slowest category of referral projection time. I actually counted 15 months with a LID of 9/29/06. It kind of shocked me. That was suppose to be the original time frame not the 3-4year emotional struggle we have been in. I used the idea that it takes 4 months to complete a month of LIDs. I guess that might be too optimistic.
15 months...seems so close.(if the glass is half full)
15 months...I wish it was now....

Round 3 of paperwork

Our paperwork for the US gov is off again with another check! Our paperwork is good each time for 18 months. Obviously, when we started this, 18 months was the wait time. Three times we are filing out the same forms- changing very little only our ages!
I was hesitating this time around b/c I am not bringing in a salary right now. I had already started the homestudy re-write in June, so some money was already spent. I guess I had to continue and hope for the best.
Once we get our paperwork update - it will be good for another 18 months. Then we will be grandfathered (no, not grandparents YET) and ask for another free extension for another 18 months. After that, it will be really hard to renew again.
We can't help that our original adoption family plan has changed and we will be 3 years older at that point.

You Might Be Adopting From China If:

(borrowed from The Shelton Family blog)

...you know that I-600 & I-171 aren't highways

...you've been expecting a baby for over 3 years

...you understand that it's 2006 in some parts of the world

...you've "paid for" 3 citizenships, but never brought anyone into the U.S

...you know that waiting for China has nothing to do with Macy's or dishes

...your homestudy is followed by a number (i.e. #3 or #4)

...you never know how many days next month will have

...you know that babies come in batches

...you've been fingerprinted four times, but never committed a crime

...you automatically assume everyone who is expecting is having a girl

...you own new clothing in 3 little sizes for all 4 seasons -because you don't know when or how big (I will add that she has more clothes than I do!)

...you look twice when you see a ladybug

...you're more interested in what will happen in April 2006 than in April 2009

...you know people who understand when you talk about 2 day months & 5 day months

...your due date hasn't changed by days, but by years

...you know who the Rumor Queen is ... AND ... you don't know who she is

...you know that forecast doesn't have anything to do with the weather

...you've waited so long, they re-checked your fingerprints to see if they changed

...trying to understand why they're printing you again, you study your own fingerprints and wonder if fingerprints grow wrinkles

...when you speak of "that time of month" you're talking about CCAA updates & referrals

This one made me laugh AND cry! God is good and if it is meant to be then it will be...

An Update of Sorts....

WOW! It has been five months since I did my last post. It isn't because I haven't been near a computer but as I said in my holiday letter - not much to say.

We are still waiting. We will go through another renew process this summer to keep our paperwork current. Way back I said that we wouldn't renew unless we were close. Well, we aren't much closer- random polls suggest anywhere from March 2010 on a good day to Dec 2015 on a bad day.
We will renew- it is just more waiting. While we soul search - I still feel the need to keep going. Like - I can't let go! I will try to use this time to keep reading information to help train us for a variety of adoption scenarios.

It has been 3 years this month since we made the decision and contacted an agency. The estimate at that time was 18 months. A bit long (*snort*) but we will use the time to get ready.

Still moving slowing but forward. They are on March 6th, 2006 LID - We are Sept 29, 2006 not far on a yearly calendar but may be years in a referral away. At this point - not much else to do....

What do you say?

The question is caring & hopeful but my answer is so full of emotions that I am not sure if this is what people are ready to listen to. Everyone means well, but do they really want to hear me ramble again?

"How is the adoption going?"


My favorite picture. Patience.
We are waiting. Still waiting. Yes, this is the longest wait for IA with Ch*na. Our paperwork will expire again in May 2009. We will have to decide to continue by refiling the paperwork or pull out. I am desperately hopeful at this point. Why so long? Many reasons- but this is the way it is right now. We have a closet full of clothes, books & toys for "princess." The boys have written stories about having a sister to play with, take care of and spoil.
I was devastated by the news of the Ch*na earthquake, the schools and the people that lost their lives, homes, family. I did get upset though that I counted at least 20 orphanages in the effected region. Why are there that many orphanages when there are so many willing people?

I guess it is a culture that I will have to keep learning about, empathising, and understand.
Thank you for asking.

Interesting Quote

Consider the postage stamp;
its usefulness consists in
the ability to stick to one thing
till it gets there.

-josh billings 1818-1885

No news. Still waiting...

For Fun

Not much is new. We are very excited to have spring here and some nicer weather. Here is our dog with her pal playing tug O war.

We passed our 18th anniversary of waiting. We haven't rec'd our latest update paperwork but the longer our gov takes to process this then the longer we have until it expires.

We rec'd our passports in just 4 weeks. They are good until 2018. I hope we have travelled to China before then!
Just keeping busy & enjoying the boys. Maybe applying for a new job.

The latest referrals were reported to take the current placement date to Jan 9th, 2006. Congrats to those who are celebrating. At least we are in 2006.

Lessons

Hard to post lately. I use this blog for more factual or information for others.
The emotions are still there. Overly controlled on this blog but as I wrote my holiday letters last night- it was hard to update others with "still waiting to adopt."
My dream world was going to have her in our family pictures this year & to welcome her and introduce her to the Christmas card community of friends & family that we have.
Sigh...
I recently watched Evan Almighty with the family & a great friend. I am intrigued and think about a special quote in it lately.
The comment is coming from "God" (Morgan Freeman) to Evan (Steve Carrell)
"If you ask God for courage, does he give you courage or does he give you the opportunity to be courageous?"
So I am going to take this a few steps further -
If you ask God for patience, does he give you patience or does he give you the opportunity to be patient?
If you ask God for strength, does he give you strength or does he give you the opportunity to be strong?

I am trying to learn & grow from these opportunites...

Just a joke...

I have friends that travel to China for work.
They ask me "Do you want something while I am there?"
My response is always "My daughter!"

Do you think she could fit in their suitcase?
Would they notice one less orphaned girl?
Do you think by writing this I will be on the hold list during the review process?

Update: Rumors tend to show only another week of referrals for the month of July. I am praying that the Nov LID group is just enormous (bless you all and the agony of week by week) and that this is NOT the trend. March LID 2006 seems big too. We are Sept 29 LID so I can only IMAGINE the strain of week by week. Let's hope I don't have to experience it. Argh.

All quiet ....

It is quiet on the China adoption homefront. Always rumors but this is where the speculation is highest.

I was in a children's store this week and saw a lady with a little dark haired girl. I got bold and asked the lady how old her daughter was? She thought I was asking for the size of clothes. I mentioned these were for someone else and threw in the word "LID" to show a connection. Her daughter is no more than 3 yrs from Indonesia. Very cute. She had to go to the orphange 3 times and had to leave the country each time. She was able to stay in Russia for 2 months with her son.

Everyone has a story. Each adoption is unique in its own way.

Still waiting

Still waiting in line... I was disappointed to see from my agency that only 19 children were referred in the last batch from Nov. 7 -14th.

But I did get to see a real referral from a real couple this past weekend. She was lovely. I choked up too. I couldn't help but feel like there will be a day for us too. They waited for 20 months.
So I will just stay in my place in line-

I am enjoying meeting the people around our LID. Some people are going for their first adoption, some this is their second! I cannot imagine doing this again.

I do appreciate the strong support group- especially from those that have done this before. Each person has a unique perspective on this process.



Actually this picture is misleading since most people can SEE the end...

Riding Tandem

Congratulations & warm wishes to those that have received referrals this week. Good luck packing and travel.
I am inspired to write that we will get there too.

My post is that we are on a tandem ride. To just say that "the adoption journey is quite the experience" - is an understatement. The waiting process is long and getting longer. Some days you hear good news - other days not so good and most of the time - you hear nothing...

Sometimes I need to find someone else to pedal on this bike for a while. I read others blogs, find adoption stories or see a video that offers some peace and hope. Other times we are working together- sharing ideas and dreams. Today, I checked out all the new referrals on RQ and I feel like pedaling. So sit back if you need- I've got today covered.

I read an article in TIME about how your brain can time travel. It was really interesting. I love writing which is new and leaves open possibilities. Anyhow, this article discussed how your brain is able to time travel. The brain is able to ignore our 3 dimensional space. This happens every time you relive or think about a memory. Your physical self/matter cannot leave this time space continuum but your brain does it frequently. You can go back in time to when you were small, or visit your favorite vacation spot, or speed ahead in time to the day we are finally off to China! It is such a neat concept. I will attest to lots of daydreaming errr I mean time traveling when spring comes!